Slow Down

Muddy Memories Segment #1: Slow Down

Hey Friend! Close your eyes.  Picture it.  It was a summer day in 2000 and I was 9 years old.  The feelings rush back to me like I am still in that moment if I just close my eyes and imagine.  I can smell the fresh cut grass and summer air.  I can hear the sound of my Grandma’s old lawn mower as one of my Uncles races around the yard.  I can hear my Grandma’s laugh or her request for me to go in and get my Uncle a glass of lemonade because he will be done soon.  I can see the faux green grass carpet lining the floor of the screened in porch.  I can feel the breeze coming through the screens against my face.  I can feel my Grandma’s hand, her cool skin against mine.  If I listen really close, I can probably hear my mom, dad, or brother talking next door and there’s a good chance that the dog is barking.  I can still hear the bang, the way the porch door would slam against the metal.  Our brain is such an incredible thing isn’t it?  We hold onto belongings… things, hoping and praying that they will somehow preserve this moment, right here and now so we won’t forget.  Yet, here I am at 28 years old, remembering every single ounce of that summer day. 

These days we are missing something so incredibly powerful… the slow down.

In the year 2000, I didn’t have a cell phone.  We may have had a desktop computer at that point, I’m not sure on the time frame of that one.  We did have a PlayStation with a teeny tiny tv that we could use to play it, but we certainly didn’t waste our days on it.  I went to school, I played sports, I took dance lessons, I played an instrument, I was in Girl Scouts, but back to my previous post… you could certainly say I was “busy”.  I got more accomplished back then than I do some days now and that has a lot to do with technology but this blog post won’t dive too deep into that just yet.

My grandmother was a special lady.  If you never got to meet her, I am truly and deeply sorry.  She had this presence about her.  She was tough, man.  If she didn’t like or approve of something, you’d know it right away and you better get your armor on because she wouldn’t hold back.  In today’s world of everyone taking everything so personally and hurt feelings, we could all use a dose of Mildred Legg.  She called me out on my crap and I shed lots of tears over that, but she was always right.  I can remember crying to my Mom on more than one occasion about how tough she was and how I was just a kid.  I remember being conflicted because she relied on me so heavily and feeling like I shouldn’t be as responsible as I was expected to be.  There were lots of tough days, I would be the first to tell you that.  That incredibly tough woman taught me more than I could have ever hoped to learn and this segment, Muddy Memories, will draw inspiration from those lessons.

Today is a combination of Muddy Memories and Monday Mantra, preparing you for tomorrow.  Today’s lesson and mantra is simple… Slow Down.

I’m not talking about driving (although this is still good advice).  I’m talking about simple, everyday life.  In 2000, I was sitting on that porch with my grandma.  We weren’t watching TV.  We weren’t on Cell Phones (that thought makes me want to laugh out loud).  We weren’t watching or being entertained by ANYTHING, nothing, nada, zero, zip, zilch.  Do I remember the days I played PlayStation with my brother?  Nope.  Do I know they happened?  Yep.  Did I enjoy them in that moment?  For sure.  Yet, I am INCREDIBLY thankful to God every single day that my major memories of my childhood do not revolve around any form of technology, and I owe my grandparents (on both sides) a million praises for that.

Now, before I go any further, please don’t think I am ragging on all technology ever.  I have a normal home, with normal technology, and I own a cell phone.  I believe all technology has its place and I am not shaming anyone who chooses to use it with their children or use it themselves or otherwise.  I am just as guilty as anyone is on letting it distract me from the present (but I am really trying hard to work on that).  Please don’t misinterpret what I am saying.

My focus here is that these little devices have robbed us of the here and now (but again, more to come on that another day).  In the situation of my childhood, the main lesson I want to share with you today is that my Grandmother taught me how slowing down makes all the difference.  She was raised in a different time, things didn’t go as fast as they go today.  To some extent, you may argue that we can’t control that, and I would probably agree with you.  Yet, what is so often lost unfortunately is that we do have control over some of it.

Some of my fondest memories with my grandma were walking around her garden, working on the garden with her, sitting on that screened in porch, spending time at the cottage, etc.  What is the common theme?  There is only one thing that those memories share and it is honestly so simple it is almost silly.  The one thing that all those memories have in common is that I was simply spending time with my Grandma. 

It didn’t matter what we were doing.  I didn’t want her to take me to Chuck E. Cheese.  I didn’t beg her to go to some Water Park or extravagant outing.  (Don’t get me wrong, those extravagant fun trips are awesome too.)  All I wanted, as a little girl, was to spend time with her where I had all of her attention.

Wow.  Isn’t that powerful?  All she had to do was slow down (which admittedly, was probably an easier thing for her to do than for many of us to do) and be present.  In every moment we spent together, whether we were working on a project or sitting on a porch together, there was no doubt in my mind she was right there with me, fully.  When I think back to the many, many hours and days we spent together I realize even more, over and over again, how insanely wise she was in so many ways based on her actions, not always her words.

I’m sure there is something, some place, some memory that you can close your eyes and go right back to, just like my screened in porch or Cottage memories.  What is it about that memory that is so powerful?  Was there someone in your life who was always present with you?  I truly hope that you can say yes. 

We live in a world that is LOUD.  Friends, it is SO LOUD.  Everything is always demanding our attention.  What we need to remember is we have the choice in what we listen to.  We have been trained that the next and biggest thing may be coming and how exciting it is and how we have to have it.  Do we really?  As I type this, I can see my daughter playing with her Daddy in our living room.  She has lots of toys, they are LOUD, like really loud, like get stuck in your head for days on end, LOUD.  She has all the things a 9-month-old baby could want (I think? HAHA!).  As I am watching her, all she wants is to play with my slipper and the baby carrier backpack straps.  What is more than that, is how happy she is when my husband is completely unplugged and present playing with her.  She belly laughs and smiles and her eyes light up like she has won the grand prize and a parade is being thrown in her honor. 

Today I challenge you to be present, slow down, enjoy the people you are with and the moment that you are in, and take a lesson out of both my Millie’s books.  This journey isn’t promised to anyone.  At any moment, everything we love and often take for granted could be gone.  Make the memories with the people you love while you can, and it doesn’t have to be some grand gesture.  Slow down, spend time, and just be present with them.  It will mean more to them than you will probably ever know.  I know my Grandparents never could have imagined how all those slow days would shape my life, but they spent them anyway and it has made all the difference.

Here’s to pursuing a present, simple life by living intently and always remembering what matters and what doesn’t.  Remember to give yourself grace and permission to enjoy the journey.  I’m always in your corner, cheering you on, and pulling for you friend!

With love always, Madison XoXo