She believed she could… and so can you.
“Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
It has taken me a little time to process the passing of the Notorious RBG. Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a trailblazer, despite achieving status of her own, never ceasing to fight for the rights and progress for others. While thinking of all that she fought for and accomplished, I kept coming back to all of the opportunities in my life I have been fortunate to have, that other women before me couldn’t… specifically my Grandmother.
Those that knew my Grandma, Mildred Legg, would agree with me on a few things… 1) you always knew exactly where you stood and 2) she was feisty, spicy, and strong in her beliefs. For as feisty as she was, growing up there were always some things that surprised me about her and I often wonder if she had been born in a different time, with more opportunity and less social construct, would she have created change, would she have set the world on fire?
Growing up, I could never understand why she didn’t drive. My Grandma Mead drove and had her license, so why not my Grandma Legg? This seemed ridiculous to the young me. Clearly, in my head, you became a teenager, and as soon as it was even remotely possible for you to do so, you get your permit and then your license. Freedom, am I right?
For some background information, my grandma was born in the year 1916. Just 8 years after the 1908 Model T was introduced. In 1909, the state of Pennsylvania set the age restriction to 18 years old for a driver’s license. Times were different then. Cars were a means of transport, sure, but they were not everywhere. As the automobile became more commonly owned, despite no official laws about women driving, the social constructs at the time were simple… the man drove. My grandma always said there was really “no reason” for her to worry about driving or to get her license. My grandpa drove if they needed to go somewhere. She would schedule her work schedule around his so that she would have transportation into “town” or for things they needed. There wasn’t Amazon 2 Day Shipping and things moved much slower then. Even though she never really seemed to say it bothered her, I always wondered if it secretly did. I always wondered, even at a young age, if it bothered her that I was able to experience and go and do so many things in so many different ways than she ever was.
My grandfather passed in 1981, before I was able to meet him. My grandmother was alive for 28 years without him and for 28 years she had to then rely on others to get places or to be able to go. By the time my grandpa was unable to drive, by my best estimates she would have been between 60-64. I remember asking her once why she didn’t go get her license then (that seemed so obvious to me) and she just laughed and said with a bunch of teenagers? Like it was the most ridiculous thing that had ever been suggested.
I turned 16, I got my permit, shortly after I got my license and a car, and look out world.
How vastly different her life and my life were, in so many ways.
I don’t remember exact dates, but I must have been 10 or so when my Grandma all of a sudden decided to purchase a car. I remember being utterly flabbergasted. The woman who has never had a license, is suddenly deciding that she needs to purchase a car? WHAT?!?!! She didn’t say much on it at the time, other than she wanted to do it so she was doing it, and that she wanted a car so that when other people had to do something for her or take her somewhere, she’d at least have that part of the equation. She had no intention or interest in getting her license, but she now owned a car. By my best estimates, she would have been early 80’s at the time. I remember it getting delivered to the house and her being so dang proud of that car… to the effect of Cinda Cawley having us both model wigs in front of it like Car Models, laughing at the top of our lungs. Looking back, I wonder if that had more to do with the fact that she could do it, she and she alone could make the choice to go purchase a car, than even the fact of having a car around so others didn’t have to use theirs.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg was born in 1933… just 17 years after my Grandmother…
She went to law school, being accused of “taking a man’s spot”, only one of 9 other women out of 500 total students.
Can you just imagine for a second how different it was back then for a woman to walk into a room pursuing a degree in law when you are only one of 9 women out of a sea of 500?
Can you try to imagine the eyes staring back at you? Can you try to imagine the looks, the snide comments, the judgement, the never-ending commentary that you didn’t belong or that you were doing something that you shouldn’t be doing?
A woman goes to law school today and while not perfectly easy or without road blocks, the difference in this scenario is astounding in 61 years. The current enrolling class at Harvard Law School is 47% female… just a touch different than 9 students out of 500.
RBG was a champion, for so many. She was beloved for the way that she used her voice and her position for the good of others who had no ability yet to do so. She paved the way so that others could have a road just a little less rocky than her own and so many before her. She served on the Supreme Court up until her passing at the age of 87, working tirelessly to continue to make a difference.
My pursuits at this time, are certainly not to make it to the Supreme Court, yet I realize that things that I pursue and have accomplished in my own life are possible because of the trailblazing women that have gone before me. My pursuit of a master’s degree, to become a principal or administrator of some kind, maybe to become a professor, my ability to write and share, my dream of becoming an author, my ability to create and start a company…. There are so many things professionally (let alone personally) that have been impacted because of the work of the women who have shattered glass ceilings and worked for changed. The ones who believed not in the difference they might see in their own life, but saw the big picture for all the ones who would come after them. Who knew that gender doesn’t effect ability and a woman’s voice in a room should not only be welcome, but is necessary.
RBG once said “When I’m sometimes asked ‘when will there be enough women on the supreme court’ and I say when there are nine, people are shocked. But there’d been nine men and nobody’s ever raised a question about that…”.
I think about all of the things that my Grandmother could have done, could have achieved, could have experienced, but couldn’t and my heart truly breaks. I know that she always seemed content with how things were, but at the time of her passing, I wasn’t to the point in my life where these conversations could have happened. I would give anything to sit on her screened in porch with her, summer breeze and heat coming through, sipping lemonade, and talking about the “deep stuff”.
Since I can’t, I will keep moving, keep dreaming, keep working, keep pursuing so that maybe, someday, others will look at my life and say “I did because of you” and that made all the difference.
You can’t spell TRUTH, without RUTH, and we all need to continue hustling, dreaming, pursuing, and working for change and progress… because we can… because she did.
Here’s to pursuing a present, simple life by living intently and always remembering what matters and what doesn’t. Remember to give yourself grace and permission to enjoy the journey. I’m always in your corner, cheering you on, and pulling for you friend!
With love always, Madison
“I would like to be remembered as someone who used whatever talent she had to do her work to the very best of her ability.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
