Don’t Let Busy Steal Your Joy
Let’s get real for a minute. This one might be a little harsh, but I need a kick in the pants from time to time and maybe you do too.
Ever since Millie was born, not to sound cliché, but life has a whole different meaning. I have always been a pretty reflective person, but ever since she was born, I find myself in a constant state of analysis and reflection. I am always thinking from her point of view. For example, when she thinks of me or talks about me or thinks back to her childhood, what will her perception of me be? This has sparked LOTS of deep struggles within myself and lots of blog posts to come, but today I want to talk about a word that haunts me and steals my joy on the daily….
BUSY.
Have you ever caught yourself using this word as a badge of honor? Have you ever caught yourself midsentence as you said “I’m just so busy”? I’m guilty… EXTREMELY guilty. Truth be told, I am really busy, so when I say that I’m not being dishonest. What I have realized though since June is that I also can use it as a crutch or an excuse. I’ve always been a yes person… (more on that another day). This has gotten me into some really horrible situations in the past, terrible demeaning relationships, and made me incredibly anxious and unhappy. Since I have always struggled with telling people no, somehow using “I’m busy”, “I’m so sorry, but”, “I wish I could but I have to” made me feel better about saying no without saying it (although I had no idea I was doing that at the time). Do you struggle with saying no, even when you want to or know you need to?
In exploring this, the thing I realized is that when I say yes to any kind of request… invitation to a party, an extra assignment for my job, helping someone with a project, etc. what I am really saying is no to my family. WAIT. WHAT.
Let me say that again louder for the people in the back…
Every time I say yes to something that demands my time on any level, what I am really saying is no to my family. Every time I am saying “I’d love to but I’m busy” what I am really saying is “This isn’t a priority”. OUCH. Maybe it is just me, but these two realizations CUT ME TO MY CORE. HARD.
So, since June, I have spent months reflecting on these things. I know for a fact that when I was busy and thought man, I don’t think I can make that work… I never once was thinking “Yeah, I don’t care about that and it isn’t a priority”. Yet, when I stopped to think about it, I make time for things I have to and often that I want to, so why is it that I am not busy then? I have been trying to be much more conscientious about that word “busy”. It has at times made me a bad friend, a bad wife, a bad daughter, a bad teacher, and refuse to let it create any more of those times or to let it make me a bad mom.
The season of life that I am in is indeed, “busy”. Instead of referring to it that way though, I need to start referring to it in the way it actually is… joy-filled, blessed with abundant experiences, and an incredible honor to chase after our baby girl and love her unconditionally. Instead of saying, “I’m so busy” I now try to make the conscientious effort to say “I’m so blessed”. Let me tell you, it makes all the difference.
My challenge for you today is are you using being busy as an excuse? Are you using it as a way to say no because you struggle with that like me? Is there something you can replace for the word busy that makes you flip it on its head?
Don’t let busy steal your joy. Our days are filled with what we choose and once they are gone, we can’t get them back. Don’t get caught saying No to the things that matter because you said Yes to the things that don’t.
Here’s to pursuing a present, simple life by living intently and always remembering what matters and what doesn’t. Remember to give yourself grace and permission to enjoy the journey. I’m always in your corner, cheering you on, and pulling for you friend!
With love always, Madison
Coming soon: Muddy Memories Segment #1: How we can learn a lot from slowing down and how summer days on a sun porch and weekends at the cottage with my Grandma taught me that!
